i feel so upset and disappointed for tis year raya coz its my 1st raya without abang.. its just too sudden when abg said that he's going melaka on malam raya. and that he will only be back the next night. though its just one day, it does make a big difference to the family. mom cried the whole night and she didnt sleep well coz she's just too upset abang is not with us on 1st day of raya. raya family picture seems so incomplete. very incomplete. raya means nothing when the elder brother is not with us. tsssk!!

why do we have to end up like this? why do we always have to get into small arguements? i hate it when we dont talk. i miss you. i miss us.

i miss you mr bob.

i realised that i've got at least 5 pairs of unused stiletto heels which i dumped inside the shoe cupboard. its not really unused lah but been used for like only twice or thrice. i've been wearing sneakers all the while ever since i passed my 2b licence. and on the other hand, i bought those heels when i used to work with some law firm. so i thought of selling them instead of letting them rot inside the cupboard. but, no idea where to sell them lah. anyone got any idea where i can let go of these stilettos?

its already September, for goodness sake. haizz. so fast huh.. and alot has been happening whether i like it or not. suddenly, i feel so tired. tired. restless. upset. disappointed. just too much for me to describe. tskk!! one problem after another. i cant run coz it wont solve anything. i have to face it but i just dont have the effort and strength. i hate being left alone. coz once im on my own, every single problem gushes its way and hit me like heavy waves and drowned me. sigh. there's too much stuffs playing in my head. i cant share with people coz they might not understand. being at home is not even helping me. it makes the situation worsed. i no longer feel the love of a home. i really hate what im going through right now.