What made me realize this is not so much that I think about you all the time, though I do. It was how I think about you. Not only do I think about how much I love you, but why, how much, and mostly do I deserve to be loved by you??
You are TRULY my gift from a higher power. LOVE is such a miniscule word for what we share. You are SO amazing. You appeared when I was at such a low point in my existence. A time when I thought that the physical and emotional pain brought on by another would never end and would wear away at every fiber of my being until it consumed me and I was no more. During the moments I tried to turn away for fear of the unknown, you planted your heels and looked deep in my soul and stayed. You compromised your life and your goals to help me survive... and I am eternally indebted to you. Without you... I would not be.
You have become a beacon to me. Whenever I feel as though I've drifted too far into the disparity that clouds my life, I can look up to find you guiding me to safety. I stay here not because this place is home... but because YOU are home.
Most people will spend their entire lives searching for a perfection that almost never exists. Most people will spend their days looking at each person they encountered with question as to whether or not they have found a reason, a season or a lifetime. With you, dear syafiq, I have found an eternity. You... this... here is where I am meant to be. You are what my entire life has led up to. You are my very best friend, my lover, my protector, my teacher and my absolute soul mate.
I have been through many relationships, but didn't really take them seriously. I was used and played by a guy who I really loved. So I decided to play guys the same way that guy once played me. I wasn't born a bitch, it's just a guy made me this way. Since then I have not taken chances with a guy. But you happened, you came into my life and stole my heart from the day I saw you.At first I was confused, didn't really know what I wanted, I didn't know if I would want to take a chance again and actually take you seriously. So, I decided to come close to you as a friend and find out who you truly were and what you were like. You seemed cool, nice and funny some things I really liked in a guy. So I took a chance and got with you.In the beginning, things didn't seem that well, I actually had my doubts about you. I wasn't sure you were actually taking me seriously. But, it was too late to look back; I had already fallen for you since the day I met you and I wasn't really looking forward to giving up too soon. I tried so hard to have you, I wasn't going to let you go so easily!
Life is so unpredictable. Changes always come along, in big or small ways. I don't know what happened that this sudden change has turned my world upside down. I don't know exactly what it is, it just hit me, but there is something really special about you.It might be all the things I see on the surface, the things that everyone notices and admires about you, qualities, capabilities and a wonderful smile obviously connected to a warm and loving heart; these things set you apart from everyone else. But it may also be the big things ... the person you really are that I hope to know more someday. And it might also be the little things ... the way you walk and all your actions. I receive so much joy just being able to see a smile in your eyes. If I ever figure out the magic that makes you so special, I'd probably find out that it's a combination of all these things. You are a rare combination of so many special things. You are really amazing. Inside of me there is a place where my sweetest dreams reside, where my highest hopes are kept alive, where my deepest feelings are felt and where my favorite memories are safe and warm. I find that you're on my mind more often than any other thought. Sometimes I bring you there purposely just to make my day brighter. But more often, you surprise me and find your own ways into my thoughts. There are even times when I awaken, I realize that you've been a part of my dreams. Then during the day, when my imagination is free to run, it takes me into your arms and allows me to linger there knowing there's nothing I'd rather do. I know my thoughts are only reflecting the loving hopes of my heart because whenever they wander, they always take me to you.Only the most special things in my world get to come inside my heart and stay. And now, I realize how deeply my life has been touched by you.
Dear,
THANK YOU for staying by my side...
~Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage~
